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TERMS OF USE
Wow! You actually came
to this page. Our lawyers made us include it and
made us use a precious link on our home page to get
you here. At first, we thought the lawyers were a
real pain. But then we read the page. What a
Netwakening! It's really important stuff. We took
the legalese the lawyers wrote and translated it
into readable English. So be a smart nethead and
read the stuff on this page. It could prevent you
from hearing from our lawyers, or worse yet, from
really nasty people, like prosecutors.
Here's the deal:
We run this site so that people like you (and people
you like) can use it for personal entertainment,
information, education, communication, and
cybergratification. So go ahead and browse around
all you like. You can even download stuff from the
site but only for non-commercial, personal use. If
you do, though, don't fool around with the copyright
and other notices all over the stuff. They're there
for a really good reason. And don't even think about
distributing, modifying, transmitting, reusing,
re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of the
stuff, including the text, images, audio, and video,
for public or commercial purposes unless we give you
written permission. And it's not likely we will.
If you visit our site, you're also legally obligated
to [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions
listed below and any other law or regulation that
applies to the site, the Internet, the World Wide
Web, or Los Angeles, CA. You shouldn't access or
browse the site if you have any problem with that,
because once you start, there's no turning back --
you are bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and
conditions.
So here's the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for
Cybersurfers who hang out on our site:
1. For everyone's sake, just assume that everything
on the site is copyrighted unless we say it's not.
So you can't use the stuff except how we say you can
on this page or anywhere else on the site without
our written permission. And like we said before,
it's not likely we'll give you permission anyway. In
fact, even if we wanted to, the lawyers are likely
to veto any deal anyway. So it's better you don't
even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate stuff on the
site, we're not promising you it's accurate. In
fact, we're not promising you anything except fun
and entertainment. So if you use stuff on the site,
you're using it at your own risk. Don't call us if
there's a problem because we assume no liability or
responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.
3. We and anybody else who helped us create,
produce, or deliver the site are not liable for any
damages you suffer when you use it. In particular,
the lawyers want you to know that our disclaimer
includes "direct, incidental, consequential,
indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your
access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the
foregoing, everything on the site is provided to you
'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER
EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO,
THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS
FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow
the exclusion of implied warranties, so some of the
above exclusions may not apply to you. Check your
local laws for any restrictions or limitations
regarding the exclusion of implied warranties. "
Ugh! What a mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put
all of that in quotes because we couldn't figure out
any other way to say it that the lawyers would
accept. But here's the bottom line -- we're not
responsible if you're browsing around and the site
damages you or your computer or infects it with any
nasty viruses. We sure hope that doesn't happen, but
if it does, don't call us.
4. If you don't want the world to know something,
don't post in on the site in any bulletin board or
anyplace else. That's because anything you disclose
to us is ours. That's right -- ours. So we can do
anything we want with the stuff you post. We can
reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it,
broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We can
even send it to your mother (as soon as we find her
address). Not only that, we can even use any ideas,
concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any way
we want to, including, developing, manufacturing and
marketing products or other stuff using the
information you post.
5. Pictures of people or places shown on the site
are either our property or someone else's property
we're using with their permission. No matter what,
it's definitely not your property. You or any of
your net-friends can't use it unless we said you
could on this page or somewhere else on the site.
And guess what -- we won't say yes. So be careful,
Bunky, because unauthorized use may violate all
sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep the stuff you
download to yourself.
6. There's also a lot of trademarks, logos, and
service marks on the site that either we own or
we're using with someone else's permission. So don't
think you have any kind of license or right to use
them, because you don't and we're not about to give
you one. If you don't leave them alone and mess with
our trademarks, logos and service marks on our site,
we'll probably go ballistic, so will the companies
that own the other trademarks, logos and service
marks. That means that we're likely to sue you or to
ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing
around with our property or the property of others.
7. We may link our site to lots of others. While
that's cool, it doesn't mean we've looked at all
those sites, much less checked them out periodically
to see what's going on. So don't blame us if some
site you link to is bad or has stuff on it that
offends you or your pets. Go ahead and link, but
remember, you're doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on our own site.
While we occasionally listen in on chat groups, or
look at the postings in discussion groups or on
bulletin boards, we take no responsibility and
assume no liability for the content of those
locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel,
slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity,
pornography, or profanity you might encounter when
you visit such places on our site, should such
places exist. And don't be stupid by posting or
transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous,
defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory,
pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or
any material that law enforcement types may consider
a criminal offense, get someone in court on a civil
lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law --
anywhere, anytime. While we certainly respect your
privacy, we have no choice but to fully cooperate
with any law enforcement authorities or court which
might ask us who might have posted nasty stuff on
our site.
9. Software that we use on this Site is protected by
all sorts of patriotic U.S. laws. Because of that,
you can't download or send the software to anyone in
the vacation travel spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya,
North Korea, Iran, Syria, or any other country where
United States has embargoed goods; or (get this) to
anyone on the United States Treasury Department's
list of Specially Designated Nationals, the U.S.
Commerce Department's Table of Deny Orders, or the
FBI's Most Wanted Internet Creeps List (just kidding
on the last one). As if that were not tough enough,
if you live in or are a national of any of those
lovely places, you're not even supposed to be
reading this page, so beat it!
10. We're also allowed to change this page and
anything else on the site any time we want to.
That's because it's ours and we have the programmers
who can do it. If we do change the page, then you're
bound by [read: stuck with] those changes, too,
whenever you visit our site.
11. If either of us wants to make something of it
and wants to “sue” (a dirty word) then we have to
follow these rules of engagement. (Sort of according
to the Geneva Convention):
This Agreement is governed by the laws of the State
of Pennsylvania, without regard to principles of
conflict of laws.
To the extent you have in any manner violated or
threatened to violate www.magicalmirrormachine.com
and/or its affiliates' intellectual property rights,
www.magicalmirrormachine.com and/or its affiliates
may seek injunctive or other appropriate relief in
any state or federal court in the State of
Pennsylvania, and you consent to exclusive
jurisdiction and venue in such courts.
Any other disputes will be resolved as follows:
If a dispute arises under this agreement, we agree
to first try to resolve it with the help of a
mutually agreed-upon mediator in the following
location: Beaver County, Pennsylvania. Any costs and
fees other than attorney fees associated with the
mediation will be shared equally by each of us.
If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually
satisfactory solution through mediation, we agree to
submit the dispute to binding arbitration at the
following location: Beaver County, Pennsylvania,
under the rules of the American Arbitration
Association. Judgment upon the award rendered by the
arbitration may be entered in any court with
jurisdiction to do so.
If this all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic,
you should have seen what the lawyers gave to us in
the first place. We had to remind them that human
torture and sacrifice was outlawed in the United
States. Boy, did they look disappointed!
November 17, 2006
www.magicalmirrormachine.com
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SKM Productions
P.O. Box 205
Darlington, PA
16115-0205
Phone:
724-847-2082
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